If you're a living breathing human being you're going to get your feelings hurt sooner or later. It's a thing we humans can't help but experience, or can we? Since I've taken The Landmark Forum, I'm experiencing like in a new manner. I don't react the way I used to react and I don't "get things" the way I used to "get things." These life-transforming habits have been extremely noticeable to friends, family -- and especially my husband.
I've always been a sensitive person and I've read so many books on dealing with hypersensitivity and nothing seemed to work. I always would end up getting my feelings hurt. A little snide comment here, some innocent teasing there, and bam -- I'd be sulking in the corner for days. A grown man -- with this type of view seems like he should close himself off from the world and live in a closet.
Dealing with hurt feelings has always alluded me, until the forum. And as I'm now in the 3rd course of their curriculum, I'm learning that life didn't stop just because I took this course, in fact, it came at me harder than ever! Earlier this week I was kicked out of some Facebook groups because I no longer met the criteria. The old Nando would have been so hurt and felt attacked and would have gathered friends to rally for me to help me deal with the situation. (Yeah, sounds dramatic but that was my life).
It may sound like an overly dramatic plot to a sitcom where someone gets booted from a social group and now plots against them and in the end finds out they didn't need them after all and creates their own group free from prerequisites and prejudices. The fact is this -- it wasn't the fact I was booted out because I didn't meet the criteria (I'm married and I no longer can be in a single's dating blogger group) but it was that someone in the community was keeping up with my life enough to notice that I no longer belonged and felt the need to "flag' me to the moderator. I felt like that was so small. And for the moderator (a friend of mine) to boot me out with just 2 sentences and nothing more -- well, it stung.
The forum truly helped change my mentality when it comes to how I see reality, especially feelings. Feelings are not a reliable test for reality because they are not real. That may seem so counterintuitive to everything we have ever learned, but it's true. So I created this video to explain.
What about you? How do you deal with hurt feelings or disappointment? Leave a comment and let's discuss.