How to Deal with Negative Emotions

I’m Nando Rodriguez, a Breakthrough Coach in New York City, and whether I’m coaching a celebrity chef, a reality star, or a successful woman entrepreneur, some of the issues are the same--trust me, it’s not all about flipping tables around a set and being told, “You’ve been chopped!”.

No matter who I’m coaching, we eventually come to the day when we deal with negative emotions. If you’re a human being in today’s world, you’re dealing with negative emotions (your own or others) and I’d like to offer you a new way to “be with them” where you’re no longer left emotionally drained, angry, or physically exhausted.

Today it's all about altering your frequency because if you didn’t know -- now you do!

What ever negative emotion you’re dealing with-- I’m not too interested right now what’s at the root of it. I’m not here for the drama of it --I’m more concerned of getting you to a place where you’re feeling peace of mind, free, and joy. Whether you boss yelled at you, a friend betrayed you, or your significant other made a significant mistake -- I want you to have a tool in your arsenal to combat those negative emotions and flip the script that leads to freedom, ease, and happiness. 

First of all

Whatever you’re feeling --allow yourself to just be in that space without making yourself wrong about it.  Realize that where you’re at emotionally is perfect. Take the meaning out of it and repeat after me, “It’s just where I’m at...at the moment!” That’s it. 

It just “is”. And inside of that -- the fact that you were able to notice it -- “Hey, I’m going through “a thing” that has me feeling upset, angry, hopeless, or even numbness to all things is okay.

Here’s your reality check though --ready? Cause it might sound rude: STOP IT! There, I said it, (inside of tough love). STOP IT ALREADY! STOP THE DRAMA. And here’s why: the more you say to yourself -- “I’m so angry” -- (or whatever the feeling is) the more you're reinforcing that negative emotion and the more you create it. 

This goes for feelings of despair from a friendship, anxiety over money, losing a job, or heartbroken from a break up. Take whatever situation you’re in and plug in/substitute your feelings, emotions, etc. The more you think it and say it -- the more “it” you create. 

Trust me

...and I know you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading and you’d be taking a quiz on Buzzfeed finding out what type of cheese you really are. The thoughts you created last week and their emotional charge (because everything is energy and energy has a frequency) come into your life with an unstoppable power! Let me explain, Whatever THOUGHTS you were “inside of last week” (anger, rage, not good enough, self doubt)  is the result of what  you’re experiencing TODAY.

The charge and frequency of the thoughts you were thinking last week is why you’re feeling what you’re feeling right now and it’s why you’re seeing what you’re seeing right now: like arguments, pissed off people all around, or other people coming to you telling you about their hopeless situations. You have become a MAGNET to those things. And consider (because time causes a gap) it’s like playing a record you won’t hear the music to for another week.

Once you accept this as UNIVERSAL LAW...you’ll be back at the wheel...trust me!

Consider that when you start to think thoughts that disrupt the negative frequency you’re putting out -- like thinking happy thoughts like puppy kisses, winning the lottery, and the best sex ever -- you won’t experience the “happiness, joy, or fulfillment frequency until NEXT week -- because of the time gap...so you have to keep thinking the positive despite the negative appearing right in front of you.

Those of you experiencing drama -- and you keep asking “when will this get better?” You’re only reinforcing drama and the “better” never comes.

What to do: Consider (because what you think RIGHt NOW, while you’re reading this,  will manifest in the future) that you begin a practice of just 5 minutes a day creating the experience you want to be inside of NEXT WEEK. Start today. And it will show up...when? NEXT WEEK!
I want you to focus on the feeling…..nothing else. What feelings do you want to show up in your future? Feelings. 

What does this PRACTICE LOOK LIKE? 

Get some paper or your phone.
Make a list. Divide into 2 columns. 
Column 1 and Column 2. In Column 1 you list the feelings you want to experience next week.

Love, fun, happy, joy, sexy, ease, excitement.

In column 2 -- are the actions YOU CAN TAKE that will create those feelings.

So if you want to create fun --what are the possible actions you can take to create it (ex: going to the park and looking out for how many dogs you can pet?, plan a trip to visit your friends, book a spa day for yourself) Give yourself plenty of options -- if you lock yourself into oNLY 1 action -- your brain will sabotage you...trust me and that one action won’t seem as doable because you will be trapped inside of wanting to take NO ACTION. The more options the better. 

HERE’S THE SECRET SAUCE

ACTION! There is action to take -- it’s not just about sitting in your room crying watching The Mindy Project on Hulu, you will have to take action to alter things. And not to worry, when you take the time out of your day to pull out your list and concentrate on it for 5 minutes -- you will see that you will WANT TO TAKE ACTION because that’s how quickly you’re altering your internal wiring! 

It’s that magical. I do it myself.

Some of you have been wondering why I’m at the beach every day (if you’re looking at my instagram stories)-- it’s to do this! Walking on the beach is one of my actions to creating/feeling: happy, joy, and refreshed.I’m alone walking on the boardwalk -- soaking in the sun and listening to the water, crashing waves just manifesting what I want to create for my future! Sometimes my husband will want to join me but it’s never as peaceful because he’s easily distracted by seagulls or old people and their walkers and it’s disruptive but it might be the only time we get to spend “us time” for the day so I take the opportunity.

Give this a try

Create your list (watch the video below) -- focus on it and take at least one action a day on your list and let me know how it works for you. I request you to share this idea  with at least 3 friends so you can do this together and keep yourselves accountable!

And remember, I’m here to make your life sexier! 

P.S. Send me pics of your list and tag me on instagram @nandoism!

You might also like my powerful 3 blog series on becoming powerful:

How to Deal with Negative Emotions

Discovering Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Therapy)

Create Instant Happiness and Joy with a Focus Wheel

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