On a recent clarity call — a potential life coaching client (PC) and I had the following exchange:
PC: I don’t care what you say, I won’t be doing any homework and I won’t be keeping a journal–that’s not for me! It doesn’t work.
Nando: Well, if you have all the answers, why don’t you have all the answers?
He signed up for coaching two days later and by our 4th coaching session — he discovered that he lives his life through a filter of “something’s missing” and it suddenly cleared up several messes he’d created in his life including his career and marriage. For him, in his marriage, “something was missing” so he was never truly happy with how his relationship occurs. After keeping a gratitude calendar for 3 weeks — he discovered that there was nothing missing in his marriage and he began to see what a beautiful relationship he had and how he was taking his wife for granted. He texted me a few days after his discovery and was excited that he and his wife were hugging and holding hands after years of NOTHING!
And in his career — well, he realized (this being his 4th job in 2 years) that the “something’s missing” filter that kept showing up on the job was his inability to feel impactful. How the filters manifested itself at work was, this job sucks, my work is not important, and I need to work at ZXY company to truly be happy because it’s missing here!
As humans, when we have no purpose at work, no matter the company or the brand, we will sabotage our working conditions to make our life filter appear. Because his filter was “something’s missing” he was never able to feel satisfaction at work despite the reality of what was going on. Once he discovered his filter, and through much probing — he remembered he had given a presentation at work and had gotten over eighteen emails from colleagues thanking him for giving them a fresh perspective on the company’s mission. I was confused and asked for clarification:
Nando: You forgot you had all these emails from your colleagues?
Client: Yes! I took screen shots of them and saved them in a folder! Nando, it was 3 months ago — why would I forget?
Nando: Because it wasn’t in alignment with your “something’s missing” filter…so this presentation and the emails contradicted your filter and you stored them away — just like the file on your desktop.
Working with a life coach can be an eye-opening experience especially because of the filters we experience life through. The lens is on so tight that f anyone or anything shows up that doesn’t match — it’s filed under: it’s not important, forget this info, or it never happened.
As this particular client is coming to the end of his coaching sessions, he’s come such a long way–his progression is impressive! He’s created purpose in his life, reestablished a connection with his wife that never would have occurred had he not signed up for coaching, and he’s creating an impact at work with intention, creativity, and fun.
What will you create with your life coaching sessions?